Wednesday, 29 April 2015

the ultimate selfie

I was invested in this one in a gigantic way. It began in Naramata last September - at the same time and in the same place so many seedlings chose to unfold in my throbbing, yet happy head.

After a long day of painting, spraying, scratching, lecture taking, photographing, singing, toe dipping in  the lake and goofing around with music and brushes, I sank deeply into the old cushions of the cabin couch. I looked at the big ass panel primed with gesso. "It's so big", I thought. "Bigger than the doors in this place." 

With sufficient time spent on stupidly intimidating myself, I poured some liquid over three ice cubes. Predictably, the philosophical stupid quickly morphed into stupidly brave. "Ha! I know. A portrait. Bigger than life size. Yes yes yes! That's it. Well, now wait...My portrait? How self absorbed, I'm not gonna do that. Then again, many have and it was awesome. The greats and not so greats have given it their best and some of it turned into amazing work. Why not? 
No no no. Not a self portrait. It has to be a story. Right. A selfie. Completely unabashed, just as they usually are. I can do that. That's funny. Or at least ironic. Call it what it is. My selfie? Maybe. Ok. Fine. Hmm. Well just a selfie. Mine, yours or anyone's. Yep. With flowers. No, it doesn't have to be happy and worthy. But it could be. Just a selfie. A reflection of what's going on. In here, or out there."